So I’m seeing someone for two weeks now. But technically, it’s been two weeks since we met. I like him so much. He’s very fun and easy to talk to. He listens when I say something and doesn’t judge whatever quirks I have. I guess that’s because he’s quirkier. However, he’s always busy. There’s a considerable age gap and to top that off, he’s a really hard worker. He travels a lot, which is good because I love to travel. But he ALWAYS travels. I was supposed to finally see him again yesterday but he had to go somewhere because of work. Also, since we have a set of common friends that might think it’s awkward that we’re “together”, we’re each other’s secret. I understand everything he’s doing and I am excited and happy at where we are - not too fast, not glacial. It’s just so hard that it seems that he has very little time for me. I don’t want to be overly needy but I just wish we had more time. I’m stressed about this, I ended up doing things I’ve never done before.
I mean I kissed someone else. He’s a very dear friend of mine and we really understand each under. But this was so out of the blue. I didn’t expect that we’d ever kiss. And I didn’t expect that we wouldn’t stop doing so. It’s confusing because when it’s supposed to complicate our very great friendship, it doesn’t. It’s so different from what I’ve been through. Ever. I mean, we have this great friendship wherein he knows everything about me and I know everything about him. We’re each other’s confidantes and we always have a blast whether we’re talking about some depressing stuff happening to us or we’re just talking about random stuff happening in the world. I’m really comfortable around him especially since he’s one of those people that you can’t help but feel safe with just their scent. And every time we kissed, it feels…cosmic. It’s weird that I would even feel this way considering I’ve been immune to this “casual” scene. But. I don’t even want to figure out what this “thing” is. I don’t wanna know. I really don’t.
I never thought I’d ever be in this position. Firstly, I never thought I’d be “cheating” of some sort. Moreover, I never thought this would happen to me and this very dear friend of mine. I never thought that I’d be seeing one person yet kissing someone else. I feel like such a bad person. And the worst part is, I don’t even feel bad about kissing him. Maybe a little but very negligible.
What’s happening to me?